Thursday, March 26, 2009

The News of the Day...

So, this is a picture of a Grizzly Bear...




















This is a picture of a Koala Bear...

















And, last, a picture of a Panda Bear...















Now, which one is not a bear?  Correct, the fucking Koala, because the other ones are bears, I don't care what anyone says.  I grew up hearing, "Well, the panda is actually more closely related to the raccoon than the bear, so blah, blah, blah, science, fart, junk, crap."  Well, I always thought that that was claptrap, pardon my French, because IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A FUCKING BEAR!!!!!!!  Well, check this crap out:

"Giant pandas are classified in the Ursidae family as bears by most scientists.  In the past, they had been grouped in the Procyonidae family along with raccoons and lesser pandas.  However, DNA testing in the 1980's determined that giant pandas were true bears, belonging in the Ursidae more so than the Procyonidae family.  Fossils have been found showing that giant panda bears evolved somewhere between 2 and 3 million years ago.  Yet, they were unknown to the western world until 1869.  The bear's scientific name, Ailuropus melanoleucus, means "black and white bear."  Its Chinese name, Da xiong mao, means great bear cat."

I fuckin' knew it, man, all along.  Now, this article was found on a website titled "www.bearsoftheworld.net," so I would assume that they might know what the hell they're talking about when it comes to the subject of FUCKING BEARS, LIKE THE PANDA BEAR!!!  I added the bold in the text above, by the way.  My only question now is why this isn't extremely common knowledge, and who's pulling the strings to keep the public in the dark.  I assume it's Red China, but I can't be sure.  Either way, I was right.

Done.

1 comment:

agent365 said...

i'm blaming this one on the toy companies. they're keeping their mouths shut on the whole bear/raccoon situation in order to push their spring line of stuffed raccoons. or maybe, it's the raccoons themselves! they have such low self esteem (from all those disney movies that stereotype raccoons as being sneaky and thievish) that they began passing pandas off as raccoons in order to gain publicity, along with a few points on the cuteness scale. jerks!